ANGEL: I'll see you later.

BUFFY: And where are you going?

ANGEL: There was a shipment of monkeys delivered to the studio for the next show. And it isn't like I can take care of this in the day...

(Sound laugh track. Buffy stands and follows Angel to the door.)

BUFFY: You have monkeys in your show? Oh, I love monkeys! They're so cute and cuddly... I bet I could even get one to do a trick with me. You know, for the show!

ANGEL: Buffy... If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. You can't be in the show.

BUFFY: (whining) But Angel...

ANGEL: No. I'll be home soon.

(Angel leaves, and Buffy pouts. Music sounds, signaling the scene change.)

SPIKE: Hello.

BUFFY: Spike! Drusilla! Come on in.

SPIKE: So where's Angel tonight? He isn't escorting you slaying tonight?

DRUSILLA: Look at all the people...

SPIKE: There are no people, Dru.

BUFFY: Angel went to the studio. They got a shipment of monkeys in for the show.

DRUSILLA: Aminals?

(Roll the laugh track.)

SPIKE: Maybe I should go and see if he needs help.

BUFFY: Why, Spike, I don't recall you ever helping Angel on anything for the show before.

SPIKE: I know. But I don't know how else to exit this scene.

(And again with the laugh track as Spike leaves. Buffy and Drusilla go into the kitchen and sit down at the table.)

BUFFY: I don't understand why he doesn't want me to be in his show.

DRUSILLA: Oh, look! One shines brighter...

BUFFY: Huh? Oh, I get it! You're saying that he's afraid if I’m on his show, I'll be better than him!

DRUSILLA: What?

(Let's have some more of that laugh track here.)

BUFFY: Well, I'll show him!

(Roll music and scene ends.)

(Cut to a window in the studio that is sliding open. Buffy climbs through first. She is dressed in all black, the right gear for breaking and entering.)

BUFFY: Dru, coast is clear!... Dru?

(Buffy peers through the window.)

BUFFY: Drusilla! Eat later!

(And the ever-wonderful laugh track as Buffy backs away from the window. A second later Drusilla climbs through the window, also in all black.)

ANGEL: Here's the plan. Angel's home asleep, and I planted a note so that when he wakes up, he'll think I went to the store. He'll come to the studio, and when he starts the show, I'll pop right out of the set and do my monkey act.

DRUSILLA: I left Miss Edith back at the house. She'll be horribly upset with me.

BUFFY: I don't think she'll miss you, Dru.

(Know what? You can figure out where the laugh tracks would be in a parody of a 50's TV show when they always had those phony laugh tracks. I don't really feel like writing those directions in. Think of it as a game.)

BUFFY: Ready?

DRUSILLA: I suppose.

(Buffy and Drusilla sneak around the hall and into the room that Angel's show is filmed in. There are cages of monkeys lined against the wall, and a tropical jungle type thing set up as background. On the set are large crates that a person could easily stand in. I don't know if those actually exits, but work with me here, okay?)

BUFFY: Something strikes me as wrong about all these caged animals... They have rights, too.... After this show.

(Drusilla goes closer to the cages, engaged in a staring contest with one of the monkeys.)

DRUSILLA: Hello.

BUFFY: Do we have time for this? No, we don't.

(Buffy pulls the top off a crate and jumps into it.)

BUFFY: Hand me a monkey, Dru.

DRUSILLA: (to the monkey) You lost, dearie. Now on to Buffy...

(Drusilla takes the monkey out of the cage and hands it to Buffy.)

BUFFY: Okay, you can go home, and be sure to watch me on TV tomorrow! And I hope this monkey doesn't have any diseases...

DRUSILLA: Maybe we should have waited.... Don't worry, he's clean.

BUFFY: I'll take your word on that.

(Buffy pulls the top of the crate back on. Drusilla goes to look at the other monkeys, and after a minute, Buffy's head pokes out of the crate.)

BUFFY: Um, Dru?

DRUSILLA: Yes?

BUFFY: The monkey talked to me.

DRUSILLA: Of course it talked to you, silly!

BUFFY: Huh?

DRUSILLA: They all talk. You just never heard it.

BUFFY: But you always could.

DRUSILLA: They love to sing... (Buffy gives the monkey to Drusilla while she tries to get out of the crate. Dru puts the monkey on the floor, and it runs off.)

BUFFY: Where did the monkey go?

DRUSILLA: To be free.

BUFFY: You let him go? Oh, great! We have to find the talking monkey. Come on!

(Drusilla follows Buffy as the music starts playing again.)

BUFFY: Can you cut the damn music? I'm not in the mood!

(They look for the monkey, sans cheesy music.)

(Buffy is walking down the hallway, crouched, looking for the monkey. Drusilla just looks around, basically being her insane little self.)

BUFFY: Here, monkey, monkey, monkey... We're never going to find him!

MONKEY: Don't look so depressed.

(The monkey is sitting by a door.)

DRUSILLA: I told you! I told you!

BUFFY: Well, we found the monkey.

MONKEY: There are tons of other talking monkeys back there. Why don’t you go bother one of them?

BUFFY: Why did you run away?

MONKEY: Why do you think? Because you were going to keep me in a crate all night. Can I tell you where to begin seeing the flaw in that logic?

DRUSILLA: You've been a bad, bad monkey.

MONKEY: Yeah, that's nice.

BUFFY: All I wanted was to be in the show!

MONKEY: Don’t pout, lady. Look, fine, I'll do the show with you. If you let me go right afterwards.

BUFFY: I can do that.

DRUSILLA: You can set the monkey free!

MONKEY: (re: Drusilla) What's up with her?

BUFFY: She's a little...

(Buffy does that international hand gesture for crazy.)

MONKEY: Ohhh...

BUFFY: You can start the music now.

(Music sounds to signal next scene.)

(Angel lets Spike and Dru into the apartment.)

ANGEL: Buffy's going to miss my show. She’s never done that before.

SPIKE: Relax. She'll be home in time for it. Where did she go?

(Drusilla starts giggling.)

ANGEL: She's grocery shopping. Although we don';t need any groceries.

SPIKE: She'll be back, definitely. Go do your show, and when you get back, she'll tell you how wonderful it was.

ANGEL: You're right! Let's go!

(Know what? You see the little dotted line, assume there's music there.)

(Angel gets to the set, and everyone is ready. Spike and Dru sit in the audience, which is empty.)

DRUSILLA: We're in for some fun.

SPIKE: What does that mean, love?

DRUSILLA: You'll know. Where are the people?

SPIKE: This is only the dress rehearsal. The show doesn't start for some time.

DRUSILLA: Ohh...

ANGEL (from onstage) Let's run the monkey thing.

(The monkeys are wheeled out. Suddenly Buffy jumps out from the crate, talking monkey on her shoulder.)

ANGEL: Buffy!

BUFFY: Angel! Me and the monkey, we worked out an act, see?

(Drusilla is laughing hysterically.)

BUFFY: Come on, monkey. What do you call a rhinoceros with too much time on his hands?

(The monkey runs off, leaving Buffy all alone.)

BUFFY: Um...

ANGEL: Buffy... 'Splain!

BUFFY: Um, um... WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

And somewhere, the talking monkey is free.