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[Hanniganite Wars]
Episode Four
A New Idea (we hope)
Written by: Natalie (PrincssNat)

Part One * Part Two * Part Three * Part Four





PART ONE

It is a time of turmoil in the galaxy. The WB Empire has taken over the airwaves, showing only old episodes of certain popular shows despite the fact that new episodes have already been scheduled. Of course, the Viewer Alliance has stolen the plans for the new superweapon, the Alan Parsons Project (yeah, baby). Princess Aly, custodian of these plans, now has to get them back to the Alliance, which is the hard part...

Enter See-ThreeHapO and Kaytoo-Detoo through blaster fire.

THREEHAPO: Great. Now we have to find another way out of here.

KAYTOO: Beep!

THREEHAPO: Yes, I do realize this is one of the stupidest ideas we've ever been written into. Maybe when I was the dog in Alystasia. Come on, I'm not even a character that fits my personality, but ThreeHapO apparently sounds cool. But I'll stick to the script. For now.

KAYTOO: Beep!

THREEHAPO: Oh, look, a cleverly placed escape pod. Ladies first.

KAYTOO: Beep!

Kaytoo gets onto the escape pod, with ThreeHapO following. As they get on the pod and shoot out into space, Princess Aly, (with her hair in those cute little braids Willow used to wear) is brought to the evil Darth Vahar by stormtroopers.

 DARTH VAHAR: Where are the plans?

ALY: What plans?

DARTH VAHAR: The ones for the space station. Do you know of any other plans?

ALY: Like the lame plan for this reminder series?

Rim shot.

DARTH VAHAR: For that joke, you're going to be thrown into a detention cell, where you will be unable to go to Frog City on Saturday (October 9) at 6:30 EST, 5:30 CST, 4:30 MST, and 3:30 PST. Just for the halibut.

ALY: And you think I'm bad.

DARTH VAHAR: Who's the Sith lord here? Take her away!

WILL ALY ESCAPE THE CLUTCHES OF DARTH VAHAR? WILL THREEHAPO AND KAYTOO GET OUT OKAY? WILL EITHER OF THEM FORGIVE ME FOR STICKING THEM IN THE ROLES THAT I DID? WILL THIS SERIES SUCK AS BAD AS ILLY HAHA OR CAN I SAVE IT?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN PART TWO OF HANNIGANITE WARS!



PART TWO

SETTING: A sand dune. Nothing around but a little igloo, and a big van type thing that pulls into the driveway of the igloo. Uncle Zowen and Nuke Skytrotter come out of the igloo to meet the Orko-looking things that drove the van.

UNCLE ZOWEN: So what have you got today?

ORKO: ::gibberish::

Orko lets Uncle Zowen and Nuke into the van, where ThreeHapO and Kaytoo are.

 KAYTOO: Beep!

Nuke: What about these two droids?

UNCLE ZOWEN: Sure, why not?

Nuke: Don't you think were speeding this along too quick?

UNCLE ZOWEN: Yes, but thats okay. We dont want people to get bored of reading this. Come on, droids.

They lead ThreeHapO and Kaytoo out of the van, and Orko drives off.

THREEHAPO: Thanks for getting us out of there. I'm See-ThreeHapO, human-cyborg relations. And this is Kaytoo-Detoo.

KAYTOO: Beep!

UNCLE ZOWEN: Okay, Nuke, I need you to clean up these droids so theyre ready for work tomorrow.

NUKE: (resisting the urge to whine like Luke) But I wanted to go to Frog City today, Saturday, October 16, 1999 at 6:30 EST, 5:30 CST, 4:30 MST, 3:30 PST!

UNCLE ZOWEN: You can talk to your friends later.

Uncle Zowen leaves.

NUKE: Well, come on.

He starts to take them back to the garage, but Kaytoo trips over a rock. Nuke helps her up, but she shoots out a mini image of Princess Aly.

 PRINCESS ALY: Help me, Mikey-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. Help me, Mikey-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. Help me, Mikey-wan Kenobi... You get the picture.

NUKE: Whats that?

THREEHAPO: (doing his best John Henson impression)

It's a little chick!

NUKE: She's adorable!

THREEHAPO: That's the princess from the spaceship. I guess she must have recorded a message on Kaytoo here before the story started.

KAYTOO: Beep!

NUKE: Mikey-wan Kenobi... I wonder if he means Mike. He's a hermit who lives nearby. Maybe he knows something about this. And can you turn that recording off? She's cute, but it gets annoying after a minute.

WILL NUKE AND THE DROIDS FIND MIKEY-WAN? WHAT'S THE REST OF PRINCESS ALY'S MESSAGE? WHY DID I INCLUDE ORKO IN THIS?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN PART THREE OF HANNIGANITE WARS!



PART THREE

When we last left our heroes, they had just left to go find Mikey-Wan Kenobi.

Nuke, ThreeHapO and Kaytoo walk toward another little igloo, and knock on the door.

VOICE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR: Who is it?

NUKE: Land shark.

The door opens and Mikey-wan Mike Kenobi is on the other side.

MIKEY-WAN: Why, Nuke, what brings you here?

NUKE: These two droids.

MIKEY-WAN: Come on in.

THREEHAPO: (mumbling) Sure is friendly for a hermit.

KAYTOO: Beep.

They go inside Mikey-wans igloo.

MIKEY-WAN: So what about these droids?

NUKE: Kaytoo here has a message for you.

MIKEY-WAN: Feel like playing it for me?

KAYTOO: Beep!

Kaytoo projects the image of Princess Aly.

PRINCESS ALY: Mr. Kenobi, you served with my father in the Bad Joke Wars, and now I have to ask for your help. This droid with practically no lines carries the plans to the Alan Parsons Project. You must deliver them back to Frog City on Saturday October 23, 1999 at 6:30 EST, 5:30 CST, 4:30 MST, and 3:30 PST. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Mikey-wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

The message disappears.

MIKEY-WAN: Nuke, you must come with me to Frog City.

NUKE: I can't do that. My uncle will have a fit.

MIKEY-WAN: You have to come with you. You have to be a Hanniganite like your father before you.

NUKE: But my father wasn't a Hanniganite-

MIKEY-WAN: Trust me, he was. He wanted me to give you this when you were old enough.

Mikey-wan goes to the table and hands Nuke the object- a universal remote to be operated with opposable thumbs.

NUKE: Cool! Hey, proof enough for me!

MIKEY-WAN: So what do you say?

NUKE: Well, according to the script, my uncle has mysteriously disappeared, so why not? Let's go.

WHAT HAPPENED TO UNCLE ZOWEN? IS THIS JUST THE AUTHORESS WAY OF MAKING IT A NON-VIOLENT REMINDER? IS THIS SUCKING LESS YET? WILL MIKEY-WAN, NUKE, THREEHAPO AND KAYTOO MAKE IT TO FROG CITY?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN PART FOUR OF HANNIGANITE WARS!



PART FOUR

When we last left our heroes, they had just left to go to the town of Mos Angelus so they could get to Frog City.

Nuke, Mikey-wan, ThreeHapO and Kaytoo arrive at a bar just inside the town.

NUKE: I can't go in here.

THREEHAPO: Why not?

NUKE: I'm not legal.

MIKEY-WAN: I don't think they'll care. Come on.

They go into the bar. That catchy background music that always gets stuck in my head is playing. Mikey-wan goes to a table where Karhan Uno sits with Chewscotta the Mowgli.

MIKEY-WAN: Are you a pilot?

KARHAN: That I am.

MIKEY-WAN: I need to hire you.

KARHAN: What for?

NUKE: We need to get to Frog City.

MIKEY-WAN: We need to be there today, Saturday, November 20 at 6:30 EST, 5:30 CST, 4:30 MST, and 3:30 PST. Think you can do it?

KARHAN: What do you think, Chewscotta?

CHEWSCOTTA: ::ceth::*

KARHAN: I take that as a yes. Five by five.

MIKEY-WAN: 25.

KARHAN: Oh, shut up. Okay, let's go. We'll go to the hangar and you'll see my ship, the Hannimobile. I can guarantee that you'll all think it's a piece of junk, but it will save all our bums in the long run.

IS THE HANNIMOBILE REALLY A PIECE OF JUNK? WILL OUR HEROES MAKE IT TO FROG CITY? HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS GOING TO BE?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN PART FIVE OF HANNIGANITE WARS!



Star Wars and all the characters belong to George Lucas, 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm. I mean no harm by this series. Please dont sue me.
Thanks to Eva and Nick for thinking this idea didnt suck.
Thank you also to the people who I abused to write this.
ThreeHapO- C3PO and Hap (sorry!)
Kaytoo- Kim and R2D2
Darth Vahar- Darth Vader and Nick (when you read the next series youll know why)
Nuke Skytrotter- Nick and Luke Skywalker
Mikey-wan Mike Kenobi- Mike and Obi-wan Kenobi
Karhan Uno- Han Solo and Karyn
Chewscotta- Chewbacca and Scott the mowgli (sorry!)
If you dont want this reminder anymore, just reply to this and tell me. Nicely, please.
Hanniganite Wars © 1999 by Natalie. Used only with permission at PrincssNat@aol.com. Unless you're Eva. Then feel free.

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Escape to Frog City!: Copyright© 1999-end

Image credits: The background is from Dream Artists-Free Animations and graphics.. The Star Wars divider is from Jo's World.