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"Batman Never Got Pulled Over"
BTVS FANFICTION & POETRY
BATMAN NEVER GOT PULLED OVER
Written by: Natalie (PrincssNat)
Natalie's Disclaimer: "I own zip. Nothing. Nada. Zero."
Rating: G
Upon hearing the sirens, Cordelia rolled her eyes.
"Nice job, Speed Racer," she grumbled.
They kept driving.
"Angel?" Gunn said from the backseat. "This is usually
where you stop."
"We have to get to that mausoleum," Angel said. "We
can't stop now."
"I'm *not* going to make my network television debut
in a high-speed police chase," Cordelia said, and
started trying to wrestle the wheel away from him.
Angel struggled for control of the car, finally
knocking Cordelia's hands away. Groaning to himself,
he pulled the car over to the curb and let the police
car park in back of him. "Hide the weapons," Wesley
hissed from the back. There was a shuffle, which ended
just in time for the cop to come to the car.
"License and registration," he said.
Sighing, Angel went into the glove compartment and
handed him both. The officer looked them over, and
said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No, officer." He wanted to bite out a sarcastic
response, but the last thing they needed right now was
to get hauled into jail.
"You were doing sixty in a thirty mile and hour zone,"
he answered. "Where were you going in such a hurry?"
They all paused until Cordelia blurted out, "I'm in
labor!"
They all looked toward her, wondering how she came up
with *that* one. "Labor," the cop repeated, looking
her over.
"Yeah. I um, metabolize really well," she said. "You
should have seen me before. Calista Flockhart had
nothing on me!"
"Cordelia, shut up and breathe," Angel told her.
"I'm going to be right back," the cop said, taking
Angel's license and registration to the car.
"Oh, we're going to be arrested," Wesley said.
"It's not so bad," Gunn said. "Sure, the ugly demons
will tear apart the city, but at least we're safe
behind bars."
"Hey, you know, what if I really was an expectant
mother?" Cordelia wondered. "The baby could have
popped out by now."
"At least you'd have a nice fat lawsuit against the
LAPD," Gunn told her.
"You're always looking on the bright side," Wesley
snipped.
"Guys," Angel said, cutting off the fight he knew had
to be starting. "Can we not right now? We should be at
the mausoleum."
"Remember this the next time you decide to practice
for the Indy 500 on residential streets," Wesley said.
"Are you allowed to smile in mug shots?" Cordelia
asked. But when she saw the cop coming back to the
car, she continued with her breathing.
"I'm going to give you a citation," the police officer
said. "Court appearance required." He handed Angel the
copy of the ticket, ignoring the disgusted look on the
vampire's face. "Slow down, and be careful. Don't want
you getting into an accident before you get to a
hospital."
"Thanks," Angel growled. He waited for the officer to
get back to his car before starting the Angelmobile
again.
"Can I stop breathing now?" Cordelia said. "I'm
getting light-headed."
"Stop," Gunn told her.
Angel shook his head as he pulled back out onto the
street. "I can't believe I got pulled over," he
grumbled. "Batman never got pulled over."
THE END
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